Feeling safe calling and texting you should be the first box checked. I CAN be a wimp. It feels good I’m sure to hear you are valued. Telling people I love and value them is usually my go-to. That IS scary. I’m still afraid to juggle mass affection while staying on the right side of the law. If it’s love it shouldn’t be against the rules. Working relationships are frowned upon and I work at everything, nonstop.

I fancy productive relationships. I enjoy chatting about potential and teamwork getting us there. I front load everything too. In my head, sure “I’ll do the heavy lifting. I love it. Pick up where I falter tho. Bet. See me too shy to move the chess pieces?  Step into action. Carry me on your shoulders. Guide me next move. School me. Assuming and guessing leaves my heart beating uncomfortably fast. I tried that. I’ve sent poetry, bouquets of roses, my number for safe keeping. What didn’t I do that remained allowed by the spoken and unspoken rules of the world?

Deleting numbers that seen in my contact list induce panting is smart in my head. Confirm you are you, friend. I, sometimes miss-save or avoid assigning last names of certain people. If I grow comfortable leaning on that person through texts, and know exactly who I can feel safe pouring my heart to I will “let them have it!”  My heart that is!

 

Psst.. if a profile that looks half baked/half faked asks me for my number, that’s not safe is it?  I just want to feel like I’m not going to hear about it, flooding you with my unstable heartbeats. Include a picture of you holding two fingers up or my name engraved on a heart shaped piece of construction paper.. Please.

 

(Mary, Wendy, S.M,)

Most recently I’ve worked to organize my heart’s spotlight on a half-fictional character in your place:  SHINING MOON

To me:

 

Try telling me that you love me, first. That way I feel safer saying it to you!