Popeye, the wheelchair rugby playing, fundraising, God fearing, poetry enthusiast

Today’s projects, as always start with thanking and praising God. That’s a must if you’re trying to assimilate with me for some reason. Teeth brushed, pre-worn clothes changed. I am hoping this “journal entry” reaches publish-worthy quality. Moving forward. I’m tongue-tied trying to decide which current effort needs attention, most. Should I dial my focus to continuing to over-saturate the adaptive athlete/ fundraising lifestyle I enjoy, should I de-back the stem cell regenerative tech I wear daily, should I jump back into prayer or should I again bang my head against the wall a bit more doing everything in my legitimate power to start a wildfire tearing the pages of poetry dedicated to winning her over apart to create easily flammable kindling.

I already like how this is flowing. I think I’m making progress trying to avoid jotting down disclaimers before I draft. Thinking others will be too critical is something I should laugh at. Are you kidding me? Lol, bites my tongue(/shows restraint). It’s not going to be pretty and unfold naturally! None of it. The life I want is constantly on the other side of this jail cell I thrive in, doing jumping jacks and push-ups nonstop! In order for me to illustrate the wrath behind my intentions is to self-censor explosive language and/ or write redundantly romantic poetry. I would live in a world full of heartfelt affection if I could. Believe that! I thrive with that kind of blood flow. I’m pretty sure I live in a glass house though. I have to watch my back. Piss-ers and moaners are everywhere. I have to recenter myself for their sanity dozens of times a day. I work to avoid complaining. Expressing myself clearly these days hardly ever happens. I get halfway there and someone assumes something, looks shocked and breaks my focus or some other kind of distraction.
Please work WITH ME. It’s certainly a struggle working my a$$ off tirelessly trying to address these “recipients” all at once. Let’s move forward referring to the 4 mentioned efforts as disciplines. Self-discipline is a necessity for powerlifters, goal-oriented folks, students and leaders. Spreading myself too thin is something I don’t like doing at all. “When I feel safe and secure,” I want to give 1050%. That is one thousand and fifty percent. At this point I avoid asking for what would be the “perfect conditions” for me to excel. I’m not a b!tch. I make do with what I have. Waiting for “pampered conditions” screws with momentum. Appearing to wait will get you dirty looks, especially from me. “Get to work” is what I tell myself at all times. Calling out distractions was my go to until I realized I was talking to my walls. I legit used to draft, scotch tape and spit-ball binders worth of love notes “to myself” to my walls. I had to hide in my own home, in my room, my face and my heart.
Metacognition is something I studied in school, in between binge-fests and having the cops walk me home at 2AM on a Wednesday.
These days I focus that misdirected energy and “frustration” into more productive avenues like Strongman competitions and excelling in sports like wheelchair rugby and bodybuilding.